How to Figure Out What You Want in Life
“Happiness is a natural byproduct of living one’s passion. So, live your passion.”
See more books by Ernie Zelinski
What Do You Really Want in Life?
One of life’s most difficult processes is discovering what we really want as individuals. Notice that most of us don’t know what we really want because we haven’t taken the time to find out. The problem is we define our personal wants and successes according to the expectations of others. Societal standards have become more important than our own unique needs.
To further complicate matters, wants have a habit of shifting with the winds. Desires are shaped by hidden needs and reshaped by mysterious forces. Too often when we get what we want, we don’t want it anymore.
If there is anything that will keep you from getting what you want, it is not knowing exactly what you want. Reaching the best destination is highly unlikely if you don’t know what the destination is. You must do some soul-searching and really understand yourself before you can determine what your wants and needs are.
Challenging Your Wants (or figuring out what you really want in the first place)
Many of us have lost touch with what life is all about. We have sacrificed the child in us, which knew what turned us on for our own satisfaction and pleasure. Having given up our personal desires and wishes has dulled us so much that we are not stimulated by anything.
Ensure that you aren’t chasing after what your mother or your best friend or Madison Avenue wants you to want. To discover what you really want, you must (well, this is an effective method I suggest) first write down what you think you want. Recording your wants is a way to make them more visible so you can challenge them.
Reveal your perceived wants and assumptions of why you think you must have them, by writing them down on paper or a blackboard or by entering them on a computer. You have to dwell on what you think you want and find the origin of that want. Finding out whether you are the source of your wants, or whether it is something you were told you wanted, is important.
As you become aware of which wants are your own and which you were conditioned to accept, you will be better prepared to pursue your genuine interests. Perhaps you will find all of your wants were there because you were told you wanted them, or you thought you should want them, but really didn’t. Then you have to look harder to discover your true wants. Don’t shy away from this task, or you may waste the rest of your life doing what someone else wants you to do; this is not something which will contribute to a fulfulling and happy life. It’s your life!
Action
Write down all your wants, needs and goals in terms of what you want to do and what you want to be. As you discover what you want, you can select those activities which truly turn you on. Next, look at your list and then live what you think you want. You’ll either quickly have and be the life and person you desire, or you’ll do some more fine-tuning. Welcome to the process of living.
Keep your focus on what you want. Your actions will naturally follow in stride. Your thoughts prepave the way!
